Making Mondays Matter
In a world of to-do lists and agendas wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could take a moment, catch our breaths and recalibrate a little? Imagine if we could take a moment and make the minor course corrections needed to help us keep moving toward our ultimate goal. I believe that many of us share the same wish for healthy, happy and balanced lives. In fact, we want such lives not just for ourselves, but for our entire families as well.
There is this great question I like to ask parents in my life coaching practice. Parents so often put themselves at the end of their list and so even when they recognize the changes they need to make, it can be scary to move from a wish for a better life, to a plan to achieve one. That’s my moment to ask this. Would you want your child to live the life you are living? If what you accept for yourself is the prayer that you hope your children will one day emulate, then well done. Good for you for crafting the kind of balanced and joyful life that we all want to enjoy. If, on the other hand, the life you are living is something you endure instead of enjoy, if it is your hope that your children will make completely different choices than you did, then what can you do to self-parent your way toward a more fulfilling life?
If you were your own grown child, what advice would you offer? What choices are available to each of us everyday? Are you brave enough to choose differently? Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over an over again and expecting a different result. If that’s true then we all have moments of insanity. How many times do we get frustrated and eat a bag of chips only to feel guilty; or argue over and over again about dirty socks on the floor only to find that they remain on the floor day after day. We may know somewhere deep down that our coping style is not working, but we keep falling for our bad habit anyway. That is a normal part of being human. Normal; but not entirely necessary.
Cesar Milan, aka the Dog Whisperer, often reminds doggie parents that dogs begin each day without most of the baggage from the day before, so it is unnecessary and even counter productive to keep worrying about whatever traumas the dog may have suffered in the past. I would argue that we could learn a lot from dogs. What if we really did start over every single day? What if we could build on the solid foundation of our past, but let go of the junk that doesn’t serve us today?
Okay, great idea, but how? That’s the simple part; notice I said simple, not easy. The simple fact is we need to let go, but it’s not easy to do. So here’s what works for my clients and for me as well. One moment, please.
One precious moment to make one simple, (if not easy) change. I am working on a new project called, Making Mondays Matter. I want to choose one thing, each Monday. One thing to replace or let go. To actively try to make my day to day life closer to the life I would hope for my kids to enjoy.
For me, I worry, a lot. So, this week, when I fall into my default worry mode, I am trying to replace the fretting with gentleness. I wouldn’t want my kids to worry as much as I do, I would want them to be gentle with their own hearts. So, I also want that for myself. My Monday mattered because I am aware of a new way to cope. When worried, I can choose to be gentle with myself. The chips will last longer and my kids will get to see growth in action.
Will I conquer worry in one week? No. Will I begin to neutralize worry with gentleness? Absolutely. As for next week? I may even try to tame the junk drawer. I don’t know what I will choose next Monday, but that’s okay because I’m not going to worry about it.
Remember, taking one moment can help you keep your face to the sun so all the shadows will fall behind.
Marilynn
Categories: General
