Parenthood Panorama
For fourteen years I have lived in a wonderful place called Babyville. I also have a home in Pre-schooler Junction, Tween Town and most recently, I have acquired a penthouse with views all the way to college in Port Teenager. Each village has it’s own charm and sites that should not be missed. Tourists often visit, but only us locals know the real lay of the land.
Now after all these years, we are moving on and bidding a fond farewell to Babyville. We have thoroughly enjoyed our stay and have lived there much longer than most. I’d like to say that we will miss the nightlife, but the truth is, we are more than ready to settle into full night sleeps, EVERY LOVELY NIGHT. I will miss my favorite sweet spots, like behind the ears where there is a little bit of heaven. Like the soft peach fuzz of little angel hair and like the overwhelming love when that tiny hand wraps around my finger. It’s a privilege to live in Babyville and it’s a privilege to move to the next stop.
I love each of my neighborhoods, but there is a blessing in each new chapter. Pre-schooler Junction means I no longer need the mountains of equipment I have grown used to. Cribs, high chairs and diaper bags are no longer a part of the landscape and a new mobility has arrived. Travel is comparatively streamlined, (just car seats now) and we have the joy of getting to know our kids on a deeper level. Old enough for their own ideas, opinions and thought processes it is a treat to watch as they figure out their world and their place in it. The joy of a pinecone collection and the wonder of the first time your child sees a butterfly emerge from the cocoon are priceless and some of my favorite parts of being here.
Tween Town has its own special charm. This is where a child takes the trip from awkward to awesome and begins to feel comfortable with the person they are becoming. Anything is possible and they begin to refine their likes, dislikes and choices. Abstract thinking has arrived and it is great to listen to the conversations as these incredible kids make unencumbered plans and try out newfound skills and independence. The best part of living here, for me is getting a glimpse of the adults they will be. Discovering that one likes to cook and another wants to live in Tennessee. This is the place where new wings are tested for flight, but they still stay comfortably close to home. It’s a place I dearly love and really enjoy being.
I know there are more neighborhoods beyond the horizon, but the farthest I’ve travelled as a parent so far, is Port Teenager. This is a port town because this is the first place where kids begin to chart their own course and head out on their own more and more. Driving, dating and the occasional drama are all part of the landscape and the adult we glimpsed from Tween Town is now a regular, at least on the outside. A long way from fully-grown, but certainly well on their way. I believe us human beings mature in three stages, first, the body, then the mind and lastly, the spirit. Port Teenager is where the body is mature, but the mind and spirit are most certainly still developing. It’s a great place to have a penthouse because that way a parent can literally rise above the drama and see out to the horizon. This is where the parent-child relationship begins to shift. Less about corporal care and more about social emotional needs, less about talking and more about listening, less about doing for and more about doing with. This may be the best part of being here. For the first time as a parent, I feel far enough along on our journey to be able to look back and see how far we have come and look forward and see how far my child will one day go and take a breath here in the middle and enjoy.
Next stop is College Cove and I’m glad I don’t have to go there just yet. Port Teenager suits me fine for now. Wherever you are on your tour through parenting, I hope you love your neighborhood and reach out to other locals when you need any help settling in. Let us know your tips and highlights so we can help each other on the journey.
In the meantime, I hope you keep your face to the sun so all the shadows will fall behind.
Marilynn
Categories: General
Jenn Degirolomo
So far I have loved all the stages that my children have been through. Some I have been ready to leave and others I want to keep them in a little longer. But watching them move through each stage has been a true blessing to me.
Jill
My family is in many of the same stages — each one with its rewards and challenges. I was just reading the excerpts from your children’s books and am eagerly awaiting their publication. I am especially interested in the Zoo within You titles. My four year old Zoo Keeper is not always in control of all her animals so reading your books would be a great way to continue the conversations about emotions in a fun and engaging way.