Built On Respect
As a parent you do all you can do for your kids, give them everything they need and care about them more than you ever thought possible. Did you ever wonder if you should expect anything in return? Parenting isn’t easy; we all know that. We get pooped on, spit up on and agree to live sleep deprived indefinitely. Strangers feel free to judge us and offer their unsolicited advice, allowing us to bask in the glow of their undoubtedly superior intelligence. When our kids excel, we are the first to give them credit, but when they struggle, we are clearly the ones to blame. That’s the way it is; parenting is simple, but not easy.
The simple fact is that this was never designed to be a fair relationship. They can keep us up at night, but we don’t wake them. They will need us for everything from basic needs like food and shelter, to helping them reach for their dreams, but we will spend our lives never wanting to be a burden to them. Willingness to make sacrifices for our children is the hallmark of parents everywhere.
Many of us spend whole lifetimes reminding our kids that we love them, no matter what. Unconditional love colors every moment of parenting, not because we will be given anything in return, but simply because we love our kids unconditionally.
Still, are parents entitled to anything in return? We hope for love, but that cannot be demanded. Love, by definition is only love when it is freely given. So what can parents require from children? One thing; respect.
Parents try and teach their kids about self-respect, but we don’t always do a good job modeling what that looks like. In our efforts to empower our kids, it seems like sometimes we diminish ourselves. Diminishing is not sacrificing. Sacrificing is denying ourselves to benefit our children, diminishing is choosing to be in servitude to a tyrant.
There is nothing better than sharing your life with children who understand that everyone is on the team and we need to respect each other. Gratitude and teamwork make a family strong, not narcissists who feel entitled to be on top even if it means standing on another person’s neck to get there.
Any lesson coming from a loving parent is always preferable to the same lesson delivered by the school of hard-knocks. We all want to indulge our kids and there is nothing as fun as saying yes, but the minute that yes is met with and what else? We need to reevaluate.
Commanding respect is a good thing and a necessary thing. Teaching kids to challenge authority is useful only when you teach them how and when to do it. Challenging authority with respect gets you heard, yelling at the principal gets you suspended. As parents we deserve respect. We deserve gratitude. Good parents have earned both every day.
Teaching our kids to speak to us with respect, to be grateful for our sacrifices and to exchange entitled for empowered will give them the perspective they will need as they start out on their own life journey. I believe if we want to build a more compassionate community we need to build the foundation by respecting the parents in our home.
Categories: General
