It has been a long time since I’ve been in Ireland, (could be that 4 kids in 10 years has something to do with that).  I grew up coming to Belfast in the height of what was euphemistically called the Troubles.  There may well be no phrase in the English language that better illustrates the Irish gift for understatement.  The Troubles were a time of quiet fears and loud bangs. My mom decided that it was more important to visit family than it was to live with regrets and so we came.

I learned a lot from my time in Ireland.  I learned that family sticks together and that malt vinegar is delicious on hot chips, (fries).  I learned that bad times will pass and that humor is a valuable medicine.  Most of all I learned that I have strength I didn’t know and a deep love for all children.

I started telling my stories in Ireland many years ago when there was lots of little cousins with the time and interest to listen to their “Yank” cousin spin a yarn.  (I’m sure the promise of chocolates had nothing to do with it at all.)  I would make up all kinds of stories and change them along the way as I saw the children smile or yawn or even widen their eyes in anticipation.  I learned that stories have power.  Power to help and power to heal. I learned that a well-crafted story could help a child feel safe in an unpredictable world and make bedtime an event instead of a burden.

I learned about perspective too.  That every story had at least two sides, but usually many more.  I learned that truth lies somewhere in the crossroads of passion and hope.  I learned that life was a story unfolding around each of us and that if we would only take a moment we might understand who we are.

So now a new generation is here to share their stories and forge new bonds.  To learn about the past and shape the future all around the same kitchen table.  It is such a marvel to see your children feel at home in a new place simply because they feel accepted by the people.

A wise person once said that parents are here to give their kids roots and wings.  Most of us spend plenty of time on extra-curricular activities like athletic and artistic training.  We focus a lot on the skills they need and the opportunities we can provide so that our kids will have a great set of wings when the time comes to fly, but I think the roots are key too.

By sharing our heritage and past as well as helping our kids connect with their own generations across other cultures, we give them the roots they need as well.  The roots let them know that they are not alone, that their lives are in a context that is full of music, history and dreams.

So try to share your stories with your kids.  Show them who they might become by celebrating the generations that built the foundation they now stand upon.  You’ll enjoy the walk down Memory Lane and they’ll enjoy knowing the you that existed before you were Mom or Dad.  You just might see some Irish, African or Latin eyes smiling back at you.

With Irish Blessings,

Marilynn

Categories: General

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